"Three things in human life are important: The first is to be kind, the second is to be kind, and the third is to be kind." -- Henry James

Times are tough nine years into a new century. Examples of incivility abound in the media; reports of bad behavior, name calling and a general disrespect for others can be read or heard everyday. There is little leadership that champions kindness and civility. Each of us must make it our personal responsibility to treat others, and ourselves, well.

In last month's article, "Make a Great First Impression," I talked about how you only have one chance to do so. As a business owner and person who answers her own phone, my attitude toward others is my personal brand. Someone once said, "Put people before paperwork, tune the world out and the customer in." It is not just what is said but how you say it! When answering a phone, meeting people in person for the first time, or the one hundredth time, remember that your attitude is contagious and will "infect" the customer either positively or negatively. It is up to you and only you. It is also the job of the receptionist, office staff, nurses, and anyone else the customer/patient comes in contact with to remember the same.

Research shows that being kind to others not only increases their quality of life but also our own. People deserve your attention and respect. Customers or patients who feel disrespected, unvalued or uncared for will not return. Few will tell you why.

What are some ways we can show respect and caring toward others?

1. Be on time. Keeping timely appointments is the basic rule of considerate behavior. It tells people that they are important.
2. When greeting a customer or patient, always stand up, make eye contact, smile, shake hands, and say their name.
3. Listen carefully and empathetically and take notes. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason; listening is very important, and a good listener is rare and highly valued today. Do not answer phones, text or perform any other action when listening to someone. Do not interrupt, as important information is often lost this way.
4. Respond with a listening skill that "mirrors or reflects" what they have told you. This validates them by making them feel "heard." Fears are often allayed by feeling that you have been heard. Make a plan, together, that addresses any issues, and agree, together, that this is the best way to proceed. Always address problems and issues as quickly as possible, but be careful not to "over promise" and "under deliver."
5. Address your customer/patient as Mr., Miss, Missus, or Ms. Refrain from calling anyone by their first name until they ask you to do so. This is a valuable sign of respect too often overlooked these days, especially with our older population.
6. Follow up and follow through to make sure your agreed upon plan is appropriate and that your customer or patient is satisfied with your care or service.

These same actions of respect need to apply to your internal customers as well; your employees. Most people want to feel valued at work. Sincere praise goes a long way to establishing a happy and civil workplace. Everyone notices when people are happy. It increases your customer's trust in your business and will not only keep them coming back, but will encourage them to recommend you to others. The benefits of kindness and civility are far reaching: nothing less than our future hangs in the balance.

"We never touch someone so lightly that we do not leave a trace." -- Peggy Tabor Millin

Gail Madison is a certified expert, trainer and professional speaker who presents etiquette programs to corporations and universities nationwide. Ms. Madison is the founder of The Madison School of Etiquette and Protocol and President of the Eastern Montgomery County Chamber of Commerce. She also serves on a variety of boards and was recently proclaimed "Entrepreneur of the Year 2008-09" by Cambridge Who's Who. Valuable business etiquette information, such as the tips included in this article, can be found on the Etiquette Revolution's DVD: "The Secrets of Successful Employment." The DVD is available at www.etiquetterevolution.com and also at www.amazon.com/dvd. For more information: 215-938-1178, www.etiquetteconsult.com, etiquetteconsult@comcast.net.